On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate your pain?

Hello friends!

I figured I should give an update on what I have been up to these last few months. I have received a lot of love and I have been asked many times how I am doing, so writing on this blog is the easiest way to answer as many people as possible.

 I want apologize here if you have written me a message and I didn't answer you back. It is my worst trait. Even with texting people back. Ask any of my friends. I always say to myself “I’ll respond to that in just a minute” and then 'a minute' turns into 'two weeks later'... sorry. It's my goal to change that. 

So I guess I'll start at the beginning. As many of you know I am home from my mission. I served in the California Ventura Mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for nine months until I had to come home because of daily headaches. It's weird for me to tell people that is the reason I am home because I feel like that is the least severe physical symptom they are expecting. And I understand. I have had headaches here and there since high school. Everyone gets them. They come and go. But the thing about the headaches on my mission is... they didn't. They steadily got worse and worse.

There's really no way to explain it. Sometimes I felt like there was a balloon being blown up in my head and other times it felt like my head was caving in. On the worst days my head felt like it was on fire. The pain would move around, from my temples, to the top, to the front, even to the back of my head. I took every over the counter pain pill there is. I tried muscle relaxation, hot showers, cold packs on my neck, even essential oils but nothing helped.

It started becoming a daily occurrence and a serious problem.  It was affecting my work, I couldn't concentrate, and worst of all I felt like a burden to my companions. If I had to stay in, they had to stay in. But they didn't see me that way. Each of them were truly sent by the Lord to help me. Heavenly Father knew who would I need by my side to support me and they did. Sister Xayadeth let me take time to rest if I needed it and always kept my spirits up. Sister Reneer made sure I stayed healthy and hydrated. Sister Clark was an angel who always knew what I needed even before I said anything. And my last companion Sister Boring deserves a special mention because she never once complained whenever I needed something. Even when I had to go to the doctor which was two hours away from our area, she drove me there and back which took us all day. 

Now this doctor's appointment was one of the first steps to discovering what exactly is wrong with my noggin. If I wasn't in so much pain I would have found it humorous. It went something like this:

Doctor: *taps my knee, looks in my ears, listens to my heart"

Doctor: "How often do you get headaches?"

Me: "I've been getting them every day for about 5 months now"

Doctor: "Does light or sound affect your headaches?"

Me: "Yes"

Doctor: "You have migraines" 

That's all he told me. As we were leaving I told Sister Boring and she said, "I could have told you that!" We laughed about it on the way home. So even though it was disappointing, I had a great companion who helped make me feel better. When we got back to Thousand Oaks we picked up my medication which had this many side effects:

I took those pills for a while and still nothing seemed to be working, so I talked with my mission president and we began to discuss the possibility of me coming home. I started praying to Heavenly Father about what would be best for me. I have never felt closer to the Lord than when I was praying for that answer. I had a lot of emotions during that time, but in the end I received my answer and I felt peace. I knew I needed to come home. It was hard because I knew everyone would have a different opinion and would be thinking different things about me. But as it says in D&C 3 "For behold, you should not [fear] man more than God". That is what I had to focus on. I felt my Heavenly Father's love for me and I knew He was pleased with what I did on my mission. 

During my time home, I have begun a new quest of finding out just what is triggering my headaches. I'm trying a little bit of everything and just checking things off the list as I go. Here's what I have so far:

• Stress - I saw a psychologist on my mission per request of my mission president. After talking with me he said "I don't really see why you are here to see me. You seem very well adjusted to the mission and calm. We all know missionary work is stressful, but you don't appear to be overly stressed to me." And now that I am home I really don't have anything to be stressed about because I am not going to school or anything at the moment so I'm ruling that one out.
• Bones - I saw a chiropractor after I came home and after doing an x-ray he discovered that my neck has a slight 'reversed curve' which could be part of the problem. However I didn't see any dramatic improvement after several visits so I have been taking a break from the chiropractor for now. I will go back if we don't find anything new.
• Headaches specialist - I am lucky that I live so close to Pittsburgh because we have amazing doctors here to treat all sorts of ailments. I went to a headache specialist last month to see what they would say differently from the California doctor. You won't believe it, but it went just like this I'm not even kidding:  

Doctor: *taps my knee, looks in my ears, listens to my heart
Doctor: "How often do you get headaches?"
Me: "I've been getting them every day for about 7 months now"
Doctor: "Does light or sound affect your headaches?"
Me: "Yes"
Doctor: "You have migraines" 

Sound familiar? She then prescribed me some pills that I have been taking ever since. (The same ones I was prescribed before I may add) I don't have another appointment until July where we will see if they are helping. 

•  Tumor - The doctor in Pittsburgh did give me a referral to get an MRI done which I did a few weeks ago. It came back without any abnormalities.

There are still more things to try and add to the list. We'll keep looking until we find something that works!

I have been asked several times what it is like to have headaches everyday. At this point, it is normal for me. I just expect the pain to be there. I don't even know how to describe it with the right words. I am a visual person, so to help you understand I found these art pieces which captures what it is like to live with daily headaches. This artist understands what it is like.  

 

Something that I thought was interesting on my mission was that each of my companions kept a 'pain scale'. As we'd be walking or driving around and they noticed I wasn't feeling well they'd ask me "How bad is it? 1 to 10." Each of them did this. It just seemed to happen naturally. What's funny is that when I came home, I watched Big Hero 6 for the first time with my family and it made me laugh every time the robot Baymax would say "On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate your pain?". I could just imagine my missionary companions saying that to me. I guess during that time they were acting as my health care companions as well. 


Now that I am home my mom has taken over that role and I could not ask for anyone better. Although I can't yet say "I am satisfied with my care" as we are still looking for a solution, I am hopeful about the future. I know as long as I trust in the Lord's plan for me, with His timing, everything will work out. 

 Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

♥ Ttfn, Karissa 

Art credit: http://screwconsciousnessblog.tumblr.com/